5 Factors that can be Affecting your Child's Self Esteem

Hi it's your Girl JA Nursing here,  As a   Mother I often have to check my self confidence meter. I realize that my confidence has a impact on my Children.
The reason for this blog is to really examine ways in which we can all work towards increasing our self esteem with positive affirmations, taking a look at how we as parents play a big role in nurturing this for our children. With back to school underway.  I often wonder what issues effect boys. So I asked my Son Anthony  who is 16,  how he felt about his confidence? His response was funny. He said, "Mom I don't have  self esteem issues, I have friends, I get good grades and nothing bothers me." I felt great to hear this  answer, but since I am not a man, it can be difficult at times identifying ways in which I can work on increasing  my Son's  self esteem and self confidence.

   Self esteem, Self confidence are big issues for many. I remember going back to school every year with the fear of being teased about my complexion being so dark. 
The stress of it all!  I have always wondered if my West Indian parenting has had a impact on my daughter's confidence,   I would have to say  my daughter  is 21 and she is  a force to be reckoned  with.  My daughter Jessica is so much more confident then I was growing up.
For sure the term "Single Mother" has always left me feeling self conscious about my status. But the question is why? Well society has put such a negative connotations  on being a single parent, that I have always  felt that as I get older  I would rather make a more positive title which  would be a better introduction to the great journey of being a Parent.
So her goes my name is Michelle Smith and I am a  Independently parenting Mother of 2. This sounds more positive.  Yes, it is a bit of a tongue twister but none the less, I'm gong to work with this title.  

 from now on I would ask that Mothers correct people who announce them as Single Mothers.  For years I have been correcting people because  I am a Mother in every way  Married or Not. I utilize the resources in from of me to help me make the best choices as a parent. Always remember it takes a true village to raise  children.


Growing up especially in a West Indian house hold my opinion was rarely  asked if any.  Today's society has placed a lot of emphasis on including  our children in decisions.
Do you agree or disagree with this one?
One article sited that  -Adolescents love nothing better than to be treated like grownups, and they’re usually flattered anytime that you invite them into the adult world. Hmm this could be a valid point try and lets see how that works.

How to Become More Confident?

Why should you believe in yourself?

Because you are unique, you see things differently from anyone else, you are therefore special and original and can do things that others can’t. You have something to contribute and you can help others because of your life experience, think back to your successes and you will see that if you believe you can achieve. The only limits you have in this world really are those in your mind.  Theses words are easier to comprehend as adults, but it is very valid word that have to be taught  to our children, especially in a society that can place negative affirmations on our children.

Positive affirmations do work. An affirmation can help you replace negative thoughts with a more helpful positive one. As back to school starts up its very important  for  Us as parents to instill  the skills of positive affirmation.

Be Generous With Praise

“We don’t tell our children often enough what they did right,observes Dr. Adele Hofmann. Commend your child not only for accomplishments but for effort—including those times when it fails to bring the desired results. In addition, let’s encourage kids to feel proud of themselves. Pride should shine from within, not just in response to external approval.

5 Factors affecting children’s self esteem:
  • How much the child feels wanted, appreciated and loved
  • How your child sees himself, often built from what parents and those close say
  • His or her sense of achievement
  • How the child relates to others
Your child’s self esteem can be increased by you 9 TIPS:
  • Appreciating your child
  • Telling your child that you love them
  • Spending time with your child
  • Encouraging your child to make choices
  • Fostering independence in your children
  • Giving genuine importance to your child’s opinion and listening
  • Taking the time to explain reasons
  • Feeding your child with positive encouragement
  • Encouraging your child to try new and challenging activities
Appreciating your child
A child’s self esteem will suffer if he or she is not appreciated. Children know if you are sincere or not. If you spend time together you must enjoy or there is no point. Show appreciation at all times. Tell your child you love him or her – this is appreciation. Thanking a child when he does something good is reward enough. Children like to please.  This point has been one in which I have had to work on for may years still in progress especially as my children get older and  it becomes harder to not internalize their shitty attitude, but It is on the list of things to improve.

Self esteem and mutual respect helps to foster Mental Wellness with in our children. As a health care professional I always say when we can identify that something is not right it is only  at that time you can seek to improve and correct.

This has  been your Health buzz with Michelle Smith Your Health and Social Advocate

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